I am extremely passionate about helping clients improve their relationships. I do not believe that there is a "bad guy" in the relationship, but that both people come together to form a negative pattern of interaction that can be extremely difficult to get out of. Couples counseling including premarital counseling and marriage counseling helps you identify your pattern and step outside the negative cycle to get real change.

The most important thing I do in my work with couples is to help establish emotional safety by immediately identifying the problem areas in your relationship and reducing conflict. I go on to teach you how to communicate your needs and listen to your partner's needs to begin to strengthen your bond.

Emotional safety means that we can be who we are with loved ones and that we feel secure about our relationships. How we communicate plays a huge role in whether we fight, avoid problems, or confide our needs in a way that our partners can hear us.

While we can't always approve of our partner's behaviors, and our partner won't always approve of our behavior, there are better ways of addressing this than to blame, fight, criticize or shame each other. We still need to feel accepted by our loved ones and I help you do that. I teach you how to more effectively communicate about what you don't like, so that you can get more of what you DO want in your relationship. 

My office is a safe place where you can explore your relationship concerns, learn to speak and listen well, and increase your intimacy and connection.

While I am nonjudgmental and nonpathologizing, I will respectfully challenge your belief systems if it appears that they are not serving you well.  

Click here for more information about my approach to couples counseling.

  Barbi Pecenco Kolski, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist Intern #54917

Supervised by Andrew Pickering, LMFT #42790